Lessons to Keep...Well at Least Ponder

Perhaps another reason why we’re addicted to romance novels and love in general is because we find lessons weaved into each part or section that we can learn from and possibly live by. With romance novels, I feel as if each novel teaches us something new or adds to something we already know to simply add to the joy of reading the novel and the excitement and possibility of experiencing love in real life. For example, in Honey, Baby, Sweetheart, I’ve learned something new and unique just as Ruby did from the Casserole Queens. “Love can come when you’re already who you are, when you are filled with you. Not when you look to someone else to fill the empty space.” (Caletti, 239) With this quote and lesson, I think about love and life in a new perspective, something I may never have come up with on my own. In my mind, derived from this quote from Miz June, I think that to love someone is about giving all of yourself: mentally, physically and most importantly, emotionally in an altruistic way. Love is about knowing who you are and putting yourself out there, in that identity, to have someone who’ll love you just the way you love yourself, if not more. It’s not about finding someone who wants to change who you are or someone who doesn’t see your true identity. Ruby and Ann are both victims of “loving” someone who doesn’t really see their true identities. Travis doesn’t know anything about Ruby’s character and only sees her as a toy in his fancy life that he finds boring. He doesn’t “love” Ruby, he only loves the thrill of having her around to push her to her limits and test her. She is basically his entertainment among other entertainments like stealing, breaking in, and riding on his motorcycles in dangerously fast speeds. Ruby “loves” the idea of Travis without really loving him. She loves the idea about being a different person than who she thinks she is. (She thinks herself as the quiet boring girl in town who isn’t special and plain. In reality she’s a beautiful person who has family and friends that love her from her personality and charm.) She wanted to be different and feel special and in the end traded her identity for someone else’s; someone “daring” and “dangerous” like the image of Travis’ motorcycle. Ann is also a victim of knowing who she is and trading that away from a fixture of love. She fell in love with a man who knew very little about her and her expectations. Chip never quite understood Ann and her ideas. The only thing that really attracted Chip to Ann was the idea of being waited on and having someone to come home to. He didn’t understand that this was never okay with Ann or of her true feelings. All the while Ann knew this deep down in her heart but she kept pushing it to the back of her mind because she kept lying to herself that he’d come back and be with her. In the process of pushing back the truth of their relationship, she also pushed back her true identity of being a strong, capable, single-mom who’s intelligent, funny, and a beautiful person who doesn’t need anyone to complete her. She needed someone to compliment her and her identity. Besides learning that little lesson about love requiring one’s true identity to be loved by someone without having to sacrifice any of oneself in the process, Honey, Baby, Sweetheart, like many other novels, seem to reiterate that there are many chapters in one’s long life (Caletti, 239). Although this idea/lesson can be found elsewhere, I feel I see it/find it the most in romance novels because of all the romance novels I’ve touched and read there are often many loves attached to a character. Like Ann and Lillian in Honey, Baby, Sweetheart they’ve loved and learned to love again. Ruby, like other characters in countless novels, is learning to move on and love again but this time for real. The act of reiterating that there are many chapters in one’s long life seems to put me back in my place to stop fussing around and freaking out over little details or the past. It reminds me and possibly other readers to relax and that if this one chapter in our life doesn’t work out the way a fairytale ending would, its okay. There are plenty more adventures and chapters to be written. Although this thought/action may be somewhat cliché and obvious to many, I find it helps to be reminded and be grounded. Perhaps readers go to romance novels the most because they need to be reminded that there are plenty of loves and adventures ahead of them and all they really need is to be reminded of that. Perhaps they read the novels to borrow and steal away some of the courage and lessons learned from mistakes the characters made in the novel to perhaps use those lessons and that courage in their own lives to love again, or love better or even to simply relax and start a new chapter and adventure in their life.

More than One

After reading more of Honey, Baby, Sweetheart I've noticed that there are far more than just one relationship in the novel, although majority of the novel focuses on one main relationship: Ruby and Travis' relationship. This could be said about all other romance novels and movies where there are multiple relationships displayed but the central focus for most of the novel or movie is about one or two specific relationships. (Most often that specific relationship is the one we all go "Awww" to.) In Honey, Baby, Sweetheart specifically, the readers get the mother-daughter relationship between Ann and Ruby, as well as a complicated father-daughter/son relationship among many others. Like all mother-daughter relationships, the readers can expect to see how their bond was formed and can also see the typical super-mom trait of Ann McQueen who single-handily raises two children on a lower income paycheck and manages to be not only their mother but best friend and confidante. The readers also receives insight on their broken household via the constant absence of Chip, the father, and from that absence, the readers receive a conveyed message about the relationship between Chip McQueen with Ruby and Chip Jr., Ruby’s younger brother. Besides these two relationships, the readers also get to see the role/relationship the Casserole Queens (plus Harold) plays in the novel as well as for both characters (Ann and Ruby) Now that I think about it, no longer is this romance novel specifically about Ruby, but in multiple ways, it’s about Ann too. The readers receive insight about her devotion to husband/Ex-husband/she-doesn't-know-what-he-is-to-her-really and their relationship. The readers can see and feel her heart-ache when Chip crushes and destroys her dream of ever becoming a complete family ever again. The readers can literally feel her pain as Chip drives away, after using her money, house, and mainly her, and reverses the van to tell her he’s moved on and has fathered a daughter with his girlfriend and will start a family with her – even when he can’t sustain his family that already exists. This novel isn't simply about Ruby and her love interest/hurtful partner Travis who, in Ruby’s perspective, enjoys pushing Ruby to her limits, testing her and often hurting her. This novel is about Ann and Ruby and how their relationships and friendships affect them and how they move on and become stronger characters and overall themselves. Both characters have the Casserole Queens, their weekly book-club, plays a major role in forming and strengthening these two characters by their honest advice and perspectives on multiple subjects and this among other relationships in the novel are important for understanding and connecting with this novel. This novel is like an onion, there are many layers to it that gives the end product, a good read, about relationships and connections to oneself and to others. Now that I think about it, maybe we like the romances because it’s not just about love in a soul mate sort of way but love in every form; in the form of friendships, family, soul mates/partners and so forth. Moreover, perhaps the real reason why we love romances and revert to those novels is our own way of self-help or how-to without having to humiliatingly go to that section in the store. Think about it. These novels provide a great deal advice given under context and scenarios that readers may or may no relate to. If readers can relate to or even simply read and thoroughly enjoy the reading, they may be able to pick up the messages in these novels that they can possibly use and revert to in their own lives. These novels are like self-help books or even how-to books that exempt the reader having to go into the cast-off and away self-help/how-to section in the book stores where they may or may not feel uneasy (the unease may occur from the idea of having to admit to oneself they have an issue whether its weight, disorders and so forth.)

A side note: For this post I feel like the song "Breakeven" by The Script really relates to Ann and Lillian's broken hearts.

Why Romance Novels?

So after reading 4 chapters of Honey, Baby, Sweetheart I think one reason why we go to romance novels above any other genres is that the romances have the ability to cause us to reminisce about our past relationships and first loves if you will. No matter where one is in life, the romances allow us to feel and maybe go back to the first kiss, the first time your heart beats quickly over the thought of someone, and that first love and first time. It reminds us of the intensity love can take on; after meeting someone for the first time and feeling a strong attraction to the endless waiting for a second and third encounter to the first date and kiss and so forth. This can be said about Ruby McQueen and Travis Becker. Their attraction and love story is full of intensity. From the first meeting as Ruby trespasses on his property out of curiosity to her “waiting [all day] until it was time to walk home (Caletti, 26) to perhaps seeing Travis in his yard again like the way she dreamed and imagines all day (Caletti, 29) and first unexpected kiss, their love is something different compared to other first loves like Forever… by Judy Blume. (This novel and love story is different because the characters together give a different kind of love. It’s an intensified connection based on thrill and being out of one’s own comfort zone for Ruby and Travis. Travis is a rebellious kind of character who likes motorcycles and dangerous fast speeds while Ruby’s the Quiet Girl who always does what she’s supposed to. Their love story surfaces and is created when Ruby is curious and trespasses on the Becker’s property. Being discovered by Travis she stays put and an initial connection is built on curiosity. Following an initial connection, their attraction and connection is strengthened when Travis tests Ruby multiple times and pushes her to her limit and out of her comfort zone. Ruby pushes herself out of her comfort zone to essentially not lose him so she acts dangerous and brave and tries things she’d never do if it wasn’t for Travis. With Forever…by Judy Blume, you get Kathy and Michael, two characters that have fun together in a safe way and understand each other in a way most people today think of understanding a partner. They have a love and connection based on understanding one another and their similarities and differences, what love today is usually based upon. With Travis and Ruby, their love and connection is based on curiosity and no really about who the other person is.) Moreover, (as I get back on track to what I was saying…) the romance novels allow us to feel something maybe we haven’t felt in a long time and perhaps in that sense it also gives up hope for the future to feel that love and connection with someone. (Or perhaps it gives us hope to reconnect with someone like that again. In Honey, Baby, Sweetheart this can definitely be said about Ruby’s mother and father. ) Romance novels also can give insight on those feelings for those who have never experienced it yet. These days the younger generations seem to do everything faster, and falling in love may or may not be one of them. Girls these days may be Googling how love feels as I’m writing this blog. On the web and in magazines there’s always some test or quiz along the lines of “Is it Love” test or “Is He the One.” It gives those hopeful romantics something to look forward to and analyze. It gives them something to think about besides their everyday routines and schedules. (Just like Ruby’s mother in the novel. Her husband is a hopeful signer on the road who left his family to pursue his dream. Although her husband treats her with little to no respect, and has gotten his new girlfriend pregnant (Caletti, 65) without telling her until he’s used her home and money for his own needs, she still goes above and beyond for him and waits for him, believing that no matter what he did or where he went he’d always return to her. Seven years after her husband left, she still held the same hope. (Caletti, 25) and she still does everything she can to impress him and show him her love. (She bought expensive wine from Renaud’s (Caletti, 47) something she can’t afford to make a night special. She cleans and dresses nicer and even spends hours researching recipes just to seem phenomenal in his eyes. (Caletti 46)

Addicted to love?...Why?

Ever wonder why when you step into a bookstore you beeline straight to the romance section? I have. After cleaning out old books to make room for the new, I noticed that as teenager I enjoyed romantic teen fiction above other genres. Even now I'll still grab a Nicholas Sparks novel before I reach for a Dan Brown novel. So what makes romantic novels so captivating? Why do readers, specifically females, grab romance novels above others as often as they do? What makes a good romance novel?To answer these questions I plan on reading a couple of the romantic teen fiction I cleaned out of my bookshelves to maybe trace ideas as to why the romances are interesting to teen readers that eventually become addicted-to-romance readers.

** The two novels I have chosen are Honey, Baby, Sweetheart by Deb Caletti and Just Listen by Sarah Dessen